Thursday, April 28, 2016

SkipTheChewing, circa 2019

in the future meal time will be much simpler
Government of Saskatchewan Media release, December 10, 2019

Today the Government of Saskatchewan announced it has committed $4 Million in funding to support an innovative start-up that will take the province to the next step in food delivery systems.

“Skip the Dishes was a great success back in 2016,” said Premier Wall at today’s news conference, “but, as you know, we are all about legacy and we wanted to head into the next election with something Saskatchewan will remember.”

“With busy families and the increasing complexity of our lives today, every minute counts. Many people are just finding it hard to sneak in a meal—even if someone else does the cooking and delivers it to your home, you still have all that cutting and chewing. SkipTheChewing will address that shortfall.” Wall said. 

“So when this opportunity presented itself, we looked at the dollars and cents and we could see that it was a natural extension of the food distribution efficiencies that Saskatchewan is so famous for. Skilled people grow the food for us, process and package it, and then prepare it as a meal and deliver it to your door—that is all good, but this is a chance for us to invest in the next value-add to the whole system from farm to mouth.”

SkipTheChewing’s CEO, Jade Soylent described the health benefits of their outsourcing services. “The data is showing that people are developing gastrointestinal diseases ranging from ulcers to colitis simply because they are rushing and not properly chewing their food. We say let the experts do the work for you. We have a full suite of nutritious and tasty options for our customers—from our mastication artisans who will pre-chew your food to your specifications on site, to shakes made of 'Just Like Angus' beef and locally-sourced potatoes, to our daybreak intravenous package, with your daily nutrition delivered at bedside while you wake to the gentle sounds of Zen gongs and ocean waves.”

Premier Wall concluded saying “this new investment from the province will help us to create good jobs while making it easier for our people to get the nourishment they need and then get on with their day. Think of the good things you can do with all that time you’ll save.”


  1. Thank you for the dark chuckle!

  2. I have heard that cows chew their cud slowly and deliberately while relaxing on a pasture (studies have shown that the incidence of ulcers & stomach cancer is lower if cows chew their cud on native prairie). Maybe Sask. Government could invest $4 Million in knowledge transfer so we can all benefit.

    1. You know I think you might be onto something there, Branimir. Cows are the original artisinal masticators, doing the hard work for us with all that chewing, turning grass into protein that humans can use...a couple million spent to support sustainable grazing of native grassland might be a good investment!


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